he debate usually comes down to tangential spokes. If you have a 32h 3x wheel, you have almost tangential spokes which leads to the least strain on the hub and consequently a stronger wheel. With 36 spokes, you have to use a 4x lacing pattern to get tangential spokes.
The downside to 4x is that the spokes are longer and so there is more springiness in the spokes and thus you lose some of the stiffness, also some smaller diameter flanges (
XTR?) are harder to build 4X because the spokes interfere with each other.
Ultimately you need to consider that wheels have different failure modes and roles to play on the bike. On the front, you want a stiff wheel to react faster and to not get knocked off line in the chunk. On the rear, you want a wheel that will survive the flexing (fatigue) forces of switching between acceleration, braking and holding 90+% of your weight on steep climbs. Finally, a dished 8 or 9 speed wheel has lower tension on the non-drive side and that adds even more flex with every rotation.
My choice is to use 36 hole 4X on the rear with double-butted spokes for strength and, since the longer spokes are springier, fatigue resistance. On the front, 36 hole 3x with double-butted spokes gives a stiff wheel that can still respond to impacts without permanent deformation.
In my experience, front wheels rarely fail except in crashes, while rear wheels will eventually succumb to fatigue and start breaking spokes one by one. If you want the wheelset to have a uniform lifespan and save a bit of weight, you could go with a 36 4x rear and a 32 3x front.